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Find Emotional Freedom through Forgiveness. Skype Video Online Counselling and Therapy for Forgiveness

Forgiveness - A Couple in Love (Wiki image) Want to find out how to make peace with your past?
Do you find it difficult to forgive?
Do you wonder why you can't just get on with your life?
Do you wonder if the other party is as upset as you are?
Do you get upset when you realize they don't care?
What's stopping you from forgiving someone?
What's stopping you from forgiving yourself?
Have you spent years stuck in denial?
Are you looking for freedom from a painful past?
Do you really feel it's time to do something about it?

I want to make one thing clear, right here, right now. Forgiveness is not about condoning another persons actions. Forgiveness is not about forgetting what has happened to you. Forgiveness is about letting go of the past in your own mind, to stop using it as an excuse for everything that has gone wrong in your life, and to heal from the past. Forgiveness has very little to do with the past. Forgiveness is about the NOW! Forgiveness is about your FUTURE!

I read a little wisdom recently and I thought it relevant, so I will, with your permission, share it with you now. It's called 'Letting Go'.

To "let go" does not mean I stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and love more..."author unknown"

Forgiveness is all about 'letting go' and taking back control of your life.

We have all been hurt. Possibly a lifetime ago, or maybe even last week. The degree of pain we feel or experience when we are in the process of being hurt is dependent on how we respond to the experience internally. At anytime we can be the subject of ridicule, rejection, betrayal, humiliation, abuse, deception or cruelty. The act of forgiveness is about healing those wounds. The act of forgiveness is about letting go of the pain and getting on with your life.
Handshake to show Forgiveness (wiki image)
The average adult is right now walking around with deep rooted feelings of bitterness and anger toward someone else. That may be a parent, a teacher, a neighbour, the boss or a lover. Something that happened during childhood, during our teenage years or into adulthood that still makes us angry. The truth is, more often than not, the other person will probably have forgotten about it years ago, and even have a different recollection of the event in question. So your anger, your bitterness, your hatred, is being directed at someone who is unaware of your pain. The only person being hurt in those circumstances, is you.

Make a start now to rebuild your self-esteem and self confidence. Find an inner peace that has eluded you, probably for a long time now, and start the healing process, in your mind, in your body and in your spirit. Resolve in your mind to wipe the slate clean. Find a way to shed the guilt and shame. Stop taking the blame for everything that has gone wrong in your life. Acknowledge the hurt that has happened to you and then move on, instead of going round in circles looking for someone to smash.

Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and understand that you are strong. You are strong because you survived. Whatever it was inside you that made you come this far has kept you strong. You've probably been hiding that strength because playing the victim has served you until now. But find that strength and compassion again, and put it to good use.

Understand you cannot change the past. What has happened, has happened. Dwelling on it will not fix your future. Oh, sure, you may have spent all this time contemplating revenge, but look where all that hatred has gotten you. You cannot interact with someone as a human being and as an adult, a parent, a partner, a teacher, boss or child, until you forgive them totally.

The secret of all future success and harmony, is forgiveness. It's unbelievable how often just one single event is enough to collapse a person, physically and mentally, like taking an axe to a tree and felling it with a single stroke, and they never get over it.

Does this mean I have to hug them, enjoy their company and be friends with them from now on?
Not a bit, no! But holding on to grudges, resentments and bitterness is the most destructive behaviour we, as humans, do to ourselves. Essentially, you are forgiving YOURSELF. Forgiveness is about letting go, and forgiving yourself, for the part you played in every senseless, brainless, negative, cruel, stupid, wicked, foolish, ridiculous thing that you've ever done.

An essential part of our future wellbeing is going to come from setting to one side everything that gets in the way of our progress, growth and spirituality. Accept that we are all human and make mistakes. This is one way to look toward the future with a positive framework of experience and goals, and to make changes that benefit us in every way. But when you look to the past, you are looking with blame, shame and guilt at something you can never change.

Forgiveness looks forward, blame looks backward. If you feel this would benefit you at all, please use the email below and contact me now.

  The Haven Healing Centre is located at: The Orchard, Draycott Rd, Cheddar, Somerset, BS27 3RU. Tel: 01934 740275

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